How To Find Real Happiness

Unicorns! I mean, unicones? A friend and I have some time to kill in the International District and we get the idea to get us some cone-shaped crepes, which I have been told about. I look on Yelp on my phone to find the place and notice there are two listings for the same place. One is called Unicorn Crepes and one is called Unicone Crepes. Same place. Hmm, ok. I wonder if it was once called Unicorn but if that was confusing because the crepes are cone shaped? Are people confused about whether they are eating an actual cone from an actual unicorn? Inside are some of the most interesting crepes I have ever seen. Some are less appetizing than others. Oooh, and a there is a neat little coffee machine that also makes chai tea and plumb, whatever plumb is. Plumb juice? Did I mention there is an amazing teeny bop Asian music video on, and that there is actually a unicorn in there? (a remnant from the old place?)

I get home and there is mail for me. Ooh, I love mail! I especially love handwritten mail. Wait, this is some creepy business. G.A. Skipworth? What the? This might be the weirdest and creepiest piece of mail I have ever received in my life. Come to the local kingdom? Why, Mr. Skipworth, that sounds like a place where there might just be come unicorns. What, there are clouds there? And angels? What, this is actually a letter from the Jehovah's Witness people (I googled your return address. Don't you know me at all?). Listen, Mr. Skipworth, I really don't need to discuss how to find real happiness, ok? I know exactly where to find it. On 6th Ave and King St, in the I.D., at the Unicone/Corn, where the chai tea/coffee/plumb? drinks are free with the purchase of a cone/corn.

Something Fishy

I went to a potluck last night. There was homemade cake and other yummy hippy treats, which was not a surprise. I have become accustomed to seeing vegan cupcakes and gluten free lasagna and herb infused soda and what not. But wait, are those sardines? Weird. But something else is weird. What is it? Something is off. I feel weird. It must be because I'm getting older. Yes, that it is. Im 28 and everyone here is in their early twenties. I am old and Im going to forever be at parties where people keep getting younger and younger and I keep getting older and older until I am 80 and have a baby in my lap and we are singing if you are happy and you know it clap your hands. Hours later it started coming to me, in waves at first. Sixth grade, all over again. There were guys there. There were guys and girl there. There were guys and girls and they were talking to each other and laughing and there were board games from the 80's and Pringles. This is a coed party! Phew. I felt better. It wasn't me. And looking back, those sardines were kind of comforting in a way. They sort of seem like something I might just see at a queer party after all.

Show and Tell

This just came in my CSA box. I am not sure if I should sing little love songs to it and coo at it or take it to the aquarium and throw it in the large tank with the sea monkeys, eels, and catfish. I read the description and I am assured that this is not GM hell after all. These things really do exist in the wild. It even has a name, Romanesco. I think, though, that I will still club it from a distance with my iphone. Take that, alien vegetable baby!

Those Seattlites And Their Cars